Walking the path

Everyday I wake up and roll out of bed, make coffee, watch the morning news, shower, get ready for work, wake up my husband and then I'm out the door for another day. Each day from Monday through Friday I do the same things. Does it ever seem that the path we walk is not with God? I've written about this before and I knew I would have to write about it again; if nothing for the fact that I am weak. I am, just like you, of the flesh and I must be reminded of my miss-steps, no matter how small. Now..I'm not saying that we must always concentrate on the negative, but we must seek help everyday through the good and the bad, no matter how small those things may be. I am trying to be more consistent with God....to make Him a part of my life in the smallest ways and the biggest ways. To me that means seeking His guidance from everything to balancing the checkbook to driving to the store; to praying for family, world leaders or the neighbors across the street. What I have been convicted of time and time again this week is that my heart has been hardened to those that may be seeking help. And...if my heart has been hardened, what good am I to God. I must be able to let down my walls and soften my heart to God so that I may be a servant to Him, for Him, by Him. It may seem silly to ask this, but if you are reading this would you mind praying for me about this, because it is laying very heavy on my heart today. I am reminded of the fact that I can be so giving and loving towards the people I am familiar with in my life, but when it comes to strangers or acquaintances I seem to freeze up and not allow them to see the "real" me. I know that I am not alone in this..it is sometimes hard to confront the unfamiliar, but if we try...really try...we can overcome with His help and your prayers. I walk the path that is unknown to me because I know that God is there. The more familiar, comfortable path is not the one I want to take any longer. God Bless HB

Busy Busy...

Well... it has been one busy week this week! Josh and I have had a lot to do. Last night was the biggest football game on this campus. The two rival schools (OBU and HSU) played each other in football. We lost 18-0 but that's OK...maybe next year. Today we get ready for a nice weekend, but do you ever get the feeling that you see more of your office or classroom than you do of the people you love the most. It is frustrating at times to know that I stare at my computer screen all day, but I only see my husband for what seems like a brief few moments and then we are off to another class or rehearsal. I know that God honors hard work and he has blessed Josh and I with the ability to work within the same campus and even the same building. However, there are those times when I just wish we didn't have so much on our plate. I guess we must press on and know that no matter where we are or how far away we are from the ones we love, they are really right there in our hearts and it makes the time we do spend with them that much more special. God Bless! HB

Just God

With so much happening in the world today I actually paused this morning to read from Oswald Chambers. Have you ever thought of how "we" tend to be very needy in our lives? It struck me so strong this morning that a lot of what I think about is myself, my family and friends, money, career and not much else lately. I don't always think about God.

What Chambers stated in My Utmost For His Highest was this: I am paraphrasing, but the basic thought was when will you become without lust, be selfless, etc. The only time is when you stop wanting God's blessings and just want God!

I thought about this very thing. I am always praying that God bless our days; that He bless our family and friends, our health, our safety, but I never actually came to the realization that if I just stop and hold tight and just want God, all that I pray for is already there.

I know I am not done with this and there is much that must be thought about, but if you are in need of a blessing or prayer or just need a break, maybe it would help to be still and know that He is God.

God Bless,

HB

Autumn

Well it's that time of year when the air gets nice and crisp and the leaves begin to change colors. I love the Fall and everything that comes with it. The peacefulness of the holiday season begins and of course it is all kicked off by that wonderfully creepy holiday - Halloween.

I remember dressing up for school on the weekend of Halloween and my sister and I would go trick-or-treating. It was great! Then, when we got to be "too old" to beg for candy, we would hand it out to all of the kids that would come by. It was a big deal in our house to put on the scary music and my dad would dress up in an ape mask and run around and scare the poor children, but they loved it!

Somehow as I've gotten older I have become more of a scaredy cat when it comes to the creepy movies and the trick-or treaters, but I still love the weather. Josh tries to get me into the spirit by watching Halloween or some other scary film and I have to admit, my curiosity always gets the best of me and I usually give in. I look forward to this Halloween and especially Thanksgiving and Christmas.

The holidays always represent the chance to see family and maybe that is why they are so special to me - well that and all the food!! HA! Anyway, enjoy the weather and celebrate this season.

God Bless,

HB

Goodbye my sweet girl

As you already know, Josh and I had the privilege of taking care of a sweet little kitten who we named Puff. We only had her for two weeks, but it really felt longer because we came to love her so much.

People ask us why didn't we just keep her, and the truth is I wish we had. Unfortunately our landlords would probably not be happy about us having a pet and Puff would have been pretty expensive, at least initially she would have.

I miss her everyday and Josh and I still have a toy of hers that we decided to keep to remember her. I have always been afraid of cats because of their claws and a lot of them bite, but since getting to know my friend, Adrienne's two cats I have become a pushover for them. When I first saw Puff she could barely open her eyes.

It was a very rainy Monday and her mother and siblings were no where in sight. I remember saying to myself "If I come home from work and she is still here I will try to help her".

I couldn't just let this tiny life stay outside in the rain with what looked like a very bad eye infection. When I got home from work, she was there in the same spot she had been all day. I picked her up in a towel and drove her over the Humane Society, but they were closed. I decided that when Josh came home we would get some food and I put her on a towel on our front porch. She slept on the mat outside of our door and when I walked out in the morning she was there waiting on me like I was her new mom.

I fell in love with her and the next day Josh took her to the Humane Society, but they were at capacity so they gave us a box some litter, and her toy. We kept her outside because she had too many fleas and the Humane Society said she was too young to de-flea. The following day I took her the vet to get her checked out because I was worried she would never be able to see. She did indeed have an eye infection and once the vet got her all cleaned up, he gave me the OK to bring inside.

It was a whole new world for her. At first she was frightened to walk around, but by the time we were getting ready to say goodbye to her, she had learned to climb and she wasn't afraid of anything, except falling off the arm of the chair.

And so I must finally say goodbye to my sweet baby girl. She was my little baby that would come poke her head out of the door and give me a look that said "come play with me", or "I'm hungry".

I will never forget my little baby girl Puff, whose name is now Powder Puff. I know that Josh and I gave her to a nice home and I know that she is happy and healthy. I also know that I couldn't get another kitten for a very long time because it would remind too much of Puff.

It's always hard to say goodbye, even when you know you are doing right by this tiny being.

We love you Puff and we will miss you!

God Bless,

HB

Hello.Goodbye.

Meet Puff. She came into our lives a little over 2 weeks ago. There is a stray cat that makes frequent stops by our house. On her last visit, she decided to leave us with a litter of kittens. I'm on my way out the door one beautiful Monday morning, and I look down to see three little white balls of fur sitting on my steps.

Heather and I decided that if we left them alone, the mom would take care of them and eventually relocate them. That was the case...except for little Puff here. She had a really bad eye infection that crusted over and prevented her from seeing. Well, Heather and I couldn't bear to think of letting a kitten starve (let alone, hear the pathetic mewing outside our front door). Unfortunately, the Humane Society is currently overrun with cats and kittens that are left uncared for by owners. They couldn't take Puff, and recommended that we care for her while waiting for the mom to come back for her. We took her to the Vet and had her treated for fleas and worms and had a nice box for her to keep on our front porch (in case the mom wanted to come back). After a day, we decided to bring her into the house....and effectively into our hearts.

Anyone who knows me can tell you that I'm a dog person. I've grown up with dogs in my house, and have every intention of owning several dogs in the future. In fact, my only real dealings with cats are when I was very young. My parents have pictures of me in the front yard with a stick in my hands trying to teach a cat to roll-over and fetch. Needless to say, I wasn't fond of the idea of owning a cat....at first.

Puff is a very curious and funny kitten. It's been so much fun watching her get healthy and develop into a rambunctious little engine. She loves to attack hands, stuffed animals, shoestrings....you name it - she'll go after it. She'll run full tilt into a wall and then shake it off only to do it again 5 minutes later. I really will miss watching her grow up.

You see - we can't really afford to take care of a pet right now. Also, there are a lot more decisions to be made when owning a cat. Will you have the cat declawed? Are you prepared to cat-proof every wire in your house? I read up on a lot of "issues" with owning cats. To me, declawing a cat is a no-brainer. However, there are a ton of adverse reactions that can occur to such a procedure. I had no idea.

After several days of going back and forth, Heather and I decided to post an advertisemnt on the OBU faculty/student Classifieds. A friend of one of my students had been looking to get a kitten, but didn't want to buy one (seeing as how so many are in need of a home). She seems like a great person who will take care of Puff and make sure she has plenty of things to attack.

If I am this sad at seeing Puff go (after only 2 weeks), I couldn't imagine what it's like to let a child go after 20 years. Well, I take pride in knowing that Puff is alive today b/c of what a generous woman I married. She has a heart bigger than the moon (with a distinct soft spot for all animals.....except cockroaches and camel-crickets).

Still - I will miss coming home to play with little Puff. Heather and I prayed over her before she left our house - that God would watch over her and allow her to live a full life. I really believe God watches over all His creatures.

You can expect to see another post about Puff from Heather. I know she is extremely sad to see her go, but happy that it's to a good home.

And so - hello Puff. Goodbye Puff. Take care, and know that we love you.

JB

Psalm 143

O Lord, hear my prayer,

listen to my cry for mercy;

in your faithfulness and righteousness

come to my relief.

Do not bring your servant into judgement,

for no one living is righteous before you.

The enemy pursues me,

he crushes me to the ground

he makes me dwell in darkness

like those long dead.

So my spirit grows faint within me;

my heart within me is dismayed.

I remember the days of long ago;

I meditate on all your works

and consider what your hands have done.

I spread out my hands to you;

my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.

Answer me quickly, O Lord;

my spirit fails.

Do not hide your face from me

or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,

for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go,

for to you I lift up my soul.

Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord,

for I hide myself in you.

Teach me to do your will,

for you are my God;

may your good Spirit

lead me on level ground.

For you name's sake, O Lord, preserve my life;

in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble,

In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;

destroy all my foes,

for I am your servant.

This is my favorite Psalm. I first read this in college at a time when I needed to hear these words. Is there ever really a time when we don't need to hear these words or any other scripture. At times of despair, worry, even happiness and joy we still need to remember that God has us, always, in His hands. We are His servants, not the world's. We are at His mercy, not at the mercy of our jobs, or money, or any other "thing" that we can easily give ourselves over to. Psalm 143 is my prayer for you and all of those people out there who need comfort.

God Bless all of you and may your day be lifted by Him!

HB

Back to School!

Well.....it is about that time year where students are back to school and for most college students that means paying bills, running into old friends and finding your way around campus again. It is nice to be back, but at the same time it is also nice to have a quiet campus for the summer. We had a nice summer and there have been some great surprises as well. First Adrienne and Brian got engaged and now Elizabeth and Dave are pregnant with baby #2. Congratulations to our friends and we are praying for you as you embark on these new journeys in life. This time of year is always nice to reflect on the changes that have occurred in our lives over the past few months. Josh was the world traveler this summer. He went to Spain in May with the Wind Ensemble and then went to New Mexico in August for the Alessi Trombone Seminar. I have been working all summer, but what I have learned is that this job is preparing me for the future. It may not be what I want to do with my life, but I am very blessed to have work and also be teaching clarinet. Back to school always used to be a time of shopping for new clothes and books. Now it has become a time of reflection and prayer for a happy, healthy year!

Many Blessings!

HB

For "Boo"

Following my dad's example, I began keeping a journal several years ago. While I am not quite as diligent as he, I always make sure to write down important goings-on in my life and the lives of my friends.

I was looking back a few days ago, and came across an entry on this date 4 years ago. No - there was no national disaster or terrorist attack. It was actually quite a beautiful day as I can recall. However, that night I received some very sad news. One of my best friends growing up had passed away.

Shannon Bowen (AKA - Boo) was one of the kids I grew up with once my family moved to Attalla, Alabama. Before moving there, my brother Chad and I were basically the only kids around (and so he just drug me along with him as an accomplice to whatever he was doing at the time). Once we moved, in August of 1983, there were almost a dozen kids within a one block radius. It was great. I really learned alot and went through most childhood rites of passage with these guys. For those keeping count, here's the roster: Shannon "Boo" Bowen, Jon Works, Terry-Michael Elrod, Cory Elrod, Chad and myself, Casey Pearce, Jamey Pearce, Dusty Pearce (all from the same big and wonderfully mischevious family), Johnny Christopher, and the lesser prevalent Shane Works and Steve Bowen.

You can only imagine the trouble we got into. I learned to play sports, ride a bike, wage full-scale war (divided up into two teams and limited to two block boundaries), explore the woods (we had the trails and the ominous deep trails), camp out, and wreak all kinds of havoc to oncoming cars with these guys. They really were my best friends.

What follows is my journal entry for August 10th, 2003. For this entry to make sense, you should know that Shannon was in a bad car accident several years earlier, which had paralyzed him from the waist down. As bad as it was, he really made the best of the situation - buying a truck he could still drive, playing basketball in wheelchair leagues, etc.:

"Right now I'm kind of shell-shocked. Mom called about 2 hours ago to tell me that Shannon Bowen died today. He went in for surgery b/c of a rod in his back. There were complications...he didn't make it.

This is probably the first person who was really close to me that has passed. Cory Elrod called mom to tell her. He said something that is very true - "At least Shannon is out of that wheelchair. I'll bet he is running all over heaven." Seeing someone as active and full of life as he was resigned to a wheelchair was so sad - very much like seeing animals in a zoo (caged). He was like another older brother to me.

I can remember moving to Attalla like it was yesterday. Jon, Boo, Casey, Terry-Michael, Jamey, Cory, Dusty, and Johnny. Learning to ride bikes, play football, baseball, basketball, pitch-up-smear, war, establishing rival clubs and engaging in week-long feuds (spying on one another for top secrets), bike races in the trails, camping out on trampolines - man how I wish I had a picture of all the guys.

Boo was a great guy who was a friend to everyone. He always called me worm (a nickname i picked up in church youth group). even after I was well over 20 years old and taller than him. He would be 30 years old by now. Man it was so much fun back then. The only thing you had to worry about was not coming outside enough. If a few afternoons went by w/o your presence, you would be called a homeboy (or in my brother Chad's case - T.V. Guide...due to his always saying he couldn't come out b/c of this show or that).

Now Boo's gone; Jon Works - married twice with 2 kids; Terry-Michael - married twice I think; Casey Pearce - married with one kid; Jamey - still at home I think; Cory, Dusty, Johnny - all married with children...all living within an hour of good old Attalla. Cory is in youth ministry, Dusty followed his dad into the railroad business, and Johnny-Roc...I believe he's still managing a yard-maintenence business to finance his "indiana-jones'esque" adventuresome lifestyle.

Father - be with all of them. Let them each know that I love them and cherish my years with them. I keep thinking about the movie Stand By Me. The dynamic of that movie really captures what my years growing up on Greene Street were like. However, there is a tinge of sadness b/c you know it can't stay that way forever. I always think about a few of the last lines of the movie:

As the years went by we saw less and less of each other until we were just faces in the hall. That happens: Friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaraunt.

I never had any friends later on in life like the ones I had when I was a kid - does anyone?

Definitely not me! Here's to one of the best times in my life. Lord - take care of Boo and tell him I'll take him in a game of one on one when I get there. "

I hope you will forgive the indulgence of this post. But isn't that what blogging is all about? JB

Family and Friends

These pictures were taken in late June when Josh and I were privileged to see our good friends Elizabeth, Dave, Adrienne, and Brian. By the way, congratulations are in order for Brian and Adrienne who just got engaged!! Here the boys talk and laugh about everything brass.

Here Adrienne, me and Elizabeth enjoy good conversation and laughs about times past!! These family pics were taken the weekend after July fourth. Here Michael plays with Tyler and Ashley. Ok...don't get any ideas just yet! I don't have baby fever, but I do love playing with Ashley and Tyler. Ashley is a little wiggle worm. Maybe someday....maybe.....we will have one of our own...someday.....

Here is a picture of Josh and Grandmother. He would do anything for her and she adores him. Love it!!

Here are the boys' Bynum. Michael, Josh, Chad, and Tyler. These guys are thick as thieves when we come to town. They are also some of the wittiest men I've ever met. Vicki and Ashley play with some blocks!! Ashley love her Ammy. Great, great photo of the girls playing.

Josh and Tyler play together. I think Josh taught him how to spell TROMBONE...no really..it's a great pic. Tyler is growing up so fast! These two weekends were my summer vacation and I can't wait to see everybody again. I just saw Elizabeth and Dave a few weeks ago and I already miss them. I hope you enjoy these photos as much as I do. God Bless, HB

Heroes

Well, Heather is in Texas for the weekend. What better time to hijack her blog? The subject of my last post dealt with being in a constant state of transition. How about we go the opposite way? What follows are a few permanent fixtures in my life - my childhood/adulthood heroes. Now I need to point out the difference between these heroes and real life heroes. Martin Luther King is a real hero who stood for something. When confronted with tough situations, he dealt with them head on. Dutch, from Predator, merely flexed his muscles at the boogeymen of the world. Understand the difference? Nevertheless, my admiration and loyalty to these guys goes back a long way. I am listing 6 b/c I just couldn't narrow it down to 5. Enjoy! Arnold Schwartzenegger This guy literally had me at hello. Once I saw Conan the Barbarian, I was a life-long fan of the Governator. Not that he should expect an academy award any time soon (considering his voice had to be re-dubbed for his first several movies). Still - I wanted to be him. I had the crew-cut and fooled myself into thinking I had his biceps. Favorite Movies: Predator, Conan the Barbarian, Running Man, Terminator, and Twins (just kidding). Favorite Quote (Conan's response to a Mongol Warlord asking him what is best in life): To crush your enemies; see them driven before you...and hear the lamentation of their women! (Honestly - does it get any better?) Clint Eastwood C'mon...the Man with No Name. To me, he was (and remains) the ultimate example of the strong silent type. I discovered him rather late in life (junior year of high school) but his influence on me was definitive. I cruised through the Spaghetti Westerns of Sergio Leone and moved on to other westerns (Unforgiven, Outlaw Josie Wales, etc) and the Dirty Harry movies. To this day - The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly is the definitive western for me. Favorite Movies: For a Few Dollars More; Fistful of Dollars; The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly; The Unforgiven; Dirty Harry; Magnum Force; In the Line of Fire Favorite Quote (As if you had to ask...Dirty Harry): I know what you're thinking, punk: Did he fire 5 shots, or all 6? Well, to tell you the truth, in all that action I've forgotten myself. But seeing as how I'm holding a .44 Magnum (the most powerful handgun in the world) and can blow your head clean off...you really only have to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well do you, punk?!? John Wayne (The Duke) Now I can't hold a candle to my dad's zeal for this man - but at least I can borrow from it a little. Is there a better example of a "man's man" than the Duke? Doubtful. For my 29th birthday, my parents bought about 6 or 7 of his films b/c I had expressed interest so many times. I've watched most, but my favorite is still the first one my dad ever let me watch....The Cowboys (Granted...I haven't watched the Shootist yet). Favorite Movies: The Cowboys; Rio Bravo (Hawks); True Grit; The War Wagon Favorite Quotes (The Cowboys - Bruce Dern is picking on one of the kids): Alright! We've seen what you can do with a boy. How are you when they come a little bigger? (Right before the fight): I'm 30 years older than you are. Had my back broke once and my hip twice...and on my worst day I could beat the **** out of you! Dude! Robert DeNiro By far, my favorite actor of all time. The ultimate tough guy. I have yet to see a movie of his I'm not in love with (well...maybe Mad Dog and Glory). His look in this picture says it all:You talkin' to me? I never was able to match his swagger - but that's cool. I'll just live vicariously throuh the man himself. Favorite Movies: Heat; Godfather II; Goodfellas; Casino; Mean Streets; Raging Bull...really too many to mention. Favorite Quote (From Heat - to Val Kilmer's character regarding his marriage): "I don't know what you're doing. Remember Jimmy McIlwane from the yard..what he used to say? If you're going to be making moves on the street have no attachments. Allow nothing to be in your life that you can't walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner." G.I. Joe: The Real American Hero I know, I know...this is a picture of Cobra Commander and Storm Shadow...but it's just too awesome not to have it on here. When I was coming up you were either a Transformers guy or a G.I. Joe guy...I was Joe all the way. Not only b/c it was more "real" (a collection of commandos and terrorists whose aim was worse than the A-Team) but b/c I have yet to meet one person who could manipulate transformers in real-time. Ever watch the Transformers cartoon? It's (cool sound effects) and your done in 5 seconds flat. When actually playing w/them, the action would have to take a 10 minute recess while the flippin' robot turns into a VW Bug, or Jet, or Tape Deck...whatever. Transformers have the upper hand right now...but the minute there is a live action Joe film - Optimus Prime will need to step aside The best Christmas present I ever received (other than our Nintendo - which my mom swore up and down would never be allowed in our house) was the Cobra Terror Drome. This was the most wonderful base of operations ever invented (move over Death Star). I literally spent hours upon hours playing w/ my G.I. Joes. I don't know how the Joes ever won. Here Cobra had this massive, impenetrable fortress (complete with gun turrets, prisons, and a jet hangar)...all the Joes had was a beat up suitcase turned on its side. Yet - the forces of good always prevailed...unless Storm Shadow and Firefly (two of the baddest mamma-jammas to don pjs) got together. Serious mayhem was sure to happen when that went down. Now - I may sound like a zealot, but I have one credit to my name. At least I didn't have to watch the G.I. Joe public service announcements to know not to try and jump my dirt bike over a downed power line. "Now we know...and knowing is half the battle" Batman I have collected comics for over 20 years now. The first comic I ever read was Batman #375. It involved a sinister plot with some doofus named the Mad Hatter (actually a staple in Batman's "Rogues Gallery"). Nevertheless - I was hooked. Thanks to my dad, I still get a bundle of Batman comics once every month or so. I love to collect whole story arcs...not reading an issue until it's complete. While Superman stands for Truth, Justice, and the American Way - Batman represents the potential for growth and the strive for perfection in everyday humans. He's mortal...doesn't have any powers to speak of. Just a keen sense of detection and the mastery of virtually every marital art form in existence. While I watched the 60's TV show (and loved it), I always hated the campiness of it all. Batman is a serious dude...on a mission. He doesn't carry Anti-Shark Spray for crying out loud! I do have fond childhood memories of being in the car w/dad going somewhere. Whenever we would start moving from a red light or stop sign, dad would suddenly grab my knee and shout "Hang on, Robin" and start singing the 60's Batman Theme Song. Still, my favorite renditions of the man comes courtesy of Denny O'Neil/Jim Aparo, Neal Adams, and Frank Miller. This picture says it all: Always moving forward...never quit. Not even after the goal has been reached and surpassed. Favorite Quote (From the Dark Knight Returns - Batman has just thoroughly thrashed goody two shoes...I mean Superman): "We could have changed the world..now...look at us. I've become a political liability...and you? You're a joke. I want you to remember, Clark...in all the years to come...in your most private moments: I want you to remember my hand at your throat. I want you to remember...the one man who beat you." Of course I could continue...but it's getting late and I have a dissertation to write. Feel free to let me know who some of your heroes are/were. Thanks for reading! Josh

It's Been a While!

Well with all of the excitement of friends visiting and us going to visit family I haven't posted anything lately. The last weekend in June we had our friends Adrienne and Brian, Elizabeth and Dave come to visit. It was so nice having them. Elizabeth and Dave got to see the house for the first time and we all went up to Hot Springs for some dinner and bowling. Let me tell you that Dave gave all of us a run for our money. It was so much fun and I would do it every weekend if I could (if we all lived closer). Then the following weekend Josh and I drove out to Alabami and visited his folks. Talk about some good food and conversation....whew! I had a blast and I only wish it could have lasted a few days longer. These are the days to enjoy life and take it all in. I love my two girlfriends dearly and would do anything for them. I only hope that I convey that when I see them and talk to them. It's great to see family and friends and for those of you who live far away from your family and friends you know what I'm saying. Those precious moments of just enjoying being in the same room again....that's what gets me every time. So.....til next time Bynum family, Dave and Elizabeth , and Brian and Adrienne.....we'll see you soon. Love you all!!! God Bless, HB

Is it raining in your life?

Very often people say that rain brings them down, or makes them depressed. Given the circumstances over in Oklahoma and Texas I can see why. But what about another type of rain, the kind we need as Christians. The kind that only God can provide and not just in our time of need, but at times that we don't even know we need it.

Sometimes we need that rain to cleanse us, if you will. We need it to clean our souls. What I speak of is a spiritual rain. Lately I have been very thirsty for God and didn't even recognize it until I read something on Green Street Letters that got me thinking. Spiritually I have been going through a drought. I don't know why or when, but I lost sight of God somewhere and even though I've been acting like everything is fine on the outside - on the inside I've been thirsting for guidance from God.

......I don't mean to talk as if I am the only person who has ever or will ever go through something like this, I am merely relaying something deep within my heart that others may relate to.

I realized that what I have been craving in life isn't a better job, or a finished thesis, or more money in the bank, or anything material or physical.......it's just God time. Everyone needs to have that time where God is the central focus in one's mind, where nothing interferes with HIM!

I confess that I haven't been giving God that time and regardless He has still been there for me.

How fair is that!!!??

It is in these times of spiritual drought where I seem to find God the most. His rain has cleansed my soul. What I pray for myself and everyone is that God will rain on you today and that you will no longer be thirsty.....but that you will begin anew, with new life and vigor for God.

So thank you to God and Mr. B. for helping me see what I have been thirsting for!!

God Bless,

HB

Commitment

Do you ever find yourself able to commit to some things and not others? It's weird how some things in life are easy to commit to. For example; it was easy to commit to my husband, college, family, but other things, the most mundane of things can be the hardest to do.

All of this is leading up to, of course, the daily task of writing my thesis. I feel like I'm always thinking about writing, and I find myself worrying about it everyday, but I have a very hard time just sitting down and committing to it. What I have found out about myself is that I would rather be doing anything than writing a paper. In fact I would rather get groceries, take out the trash, clean the bathroom, do laundry, balance the checkbook, go to the dentist.... you get the idea.

What I have been praying for is that God will change my heart toward this very important task.

I know what has to be done and I can see a time in the very near future when I will be finished, but right now is where I am living and I must commit to the task.

All of this rambling has brought me to this point... without commitment one can not accomplish the job, whatever it may be, to the best and utmost of their ability. It is hard work and we shouldn't fear it but embrace it and continue, no matter how slowly.

So, I continue to pray that God will work on my heart and take the fear away and help me to commit to this project. I know that through Him, I can accomplish anything and after all, this paper is really for Him not me. I need it for my degree, but He needs it as a show of my love and commitment for Him!

God Bless

HB

Happy Father's Day... a little late

Happy Father's Day to all of the dads out there. My dad, John, Michael B., Chad B., and Dave A. and Denver K.; you are all amazing men who work hard for your families and love them even more. You are all so significant to your children and your wives. You sit quietly in your easy chair and never complain when you are forced to watch Oprah or The Backyardigans and always make sure to lock the doors at night. You help in the kitchen and don't mind doing the yard work. But it is your continuous spirit of love and hope and your devotion to God that is the center of the family. Being a dad means being the rock and you all deserve to be recognized on this day. So to all you dads listed above, we love you and appreciate you everyday! May God bless your journey! HB

Getting Older...

Well it is just a few days away from my ..ugh..32 birthday. I guess I feel like I am wiser and more accomplished than I was 10 years ago. I thought turning 30 was difficult, but I am quickly realizing that with each new birthday I feel more and more sentimental about the past. It's not that I want to relive anything I just feel the need to take it all in and let it sink in that I am no longer a 20 something student whose major responsibility is going to classes. It is quite a reality check because it means that I am what I always wanted to be....an adult. It is amazing the twists and turns that one's life takes. It wasn't that long ago that I was praying for God to either bring a strong Christian man into my life or help me to accept that I may never marry. Now, I am happily married to the most wonderful man and after almost three years together we still get giddy around each other. God is amazing and He really has shown me that He is in control. There were times when I would wonder "Who's running this show?" I don't wonder that any longer. Good Things and God Bless, HB

Great movie

Josh and I rented the movie (Apocalypto) the other night and I must say that it is (next to Lord of the Rings) one of the best movies I have ever seen. It is very violent, but the acting, cinematography, and costumes made you feel as if you were in the action. It is not a family film that little ones should watch. It is, however, a great movie to lose yourself in, which for me is the only reason to watch movies. Ebert, Roper and Bynum give it two thumbs up.

God Bless,

HB

Moving on -

Well, considering that this is our blog and only Heather has posted, I decided it was time to make an entry. I don't expect to write my deepest thoughts down here (I keep a journal for that). Instead, I plan to just write about random topics. Here's a taste of nostalgia: I turn 30 on Sunday. Bye-bye 20's. You hear all the time about how fast life moves, and don't give it much thought until you reach a milestone like this. I really can't believe it's been more than 10 years since I started college. It really seems like yesterday. I remember feeling very isolated and excited during my first semester at Jacksonville State. I was very aware of the fact that this was a fresh start...hardly anyone knew who I was or what I was about. For the most part, I acted like you would in a new house, car, or while meeting your future in-laws for the first time. I moved on eggshells afraid that if I relaxed, I would break something. I wanted the fresh start, but b/c I enjoyed high school - I felt the urge to hang on to the familiar (I know this is not unique to my experience). Gradually I made what I now consider to be the best friends of my life. I also adapted and thrived in the college environment (so much so that I am technically still in school today). However, the difference now is that I am very used to the concept of moving on. I moved on to Philadelphia, then to Iowa, then from working on my DMA to being a band director (shudder), and now to teaching at a rather obscure (but wonderful) university in Arkansas. While I truly believe that Heather and I aren't done "moving on" I must confess that I am getting ready to stop for a while. The problem with moving on is that you don't have time to put down roots. You feel as if you are in a perpetual transition. Friends? Well, you hold on for dear life to the ones you already have. Church family? It is very easy to quit "putting yourself out there" b/c you know you will be gone in 6 months to a year. However, I have discovered the real downfall to be the fact that in the time spent worrying about "moving on" you forget to live your life. It's ok to have dreams and ambitions. But as my man Casey Kasem says "Keep your feet on the ground while you keep reaching for the stars." OK - I confess...this entire post was a sham in order to quote Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. It's very interesting, for all of the transition in my life I've never been overly worried. Things just seem to work themselves out. The best description I can give you is that for the better part of my life I have felt as if I were just going with the current from one place to the next - the path already laid out. My constant in this life has been and continues to be Christ. He sustains me and keeps me going in the right direction. I've also been abundantly blessed with a wonderful wife who is with me every step of the way, a family life that is full of laughter and love, and a close circle of friends in whom I can completely trust and be myself around. In other words: bring on the next 30 b/c it's been great so far. Like I said....no deep thoughts here, just random topics. Future topics will most likely include: childhood heroes; movies; and songs of special importance. That will be a good start. Until next time.... Josh

Nice Day

Today is a great day because I am having lunch with some friends and I only have to work a half day. Josh and I rented Apocalypto and we are going to watch it tonight. I am so excited to see it. I have heard some wonderful things about it.

Today is also the 4th wedding anniversary of my friends Elizabeth and Dave. Last weekend was my sister and John's 6th anniversary. Time flies by when you're having fun.

I am so happy to see these two happy couples and how much their families have expanded over the years.

Growing up with my sister we would talk about marriage and family, but you are never actually prepared when it comes. Sometimes I have to remind myself that she is the mother of two boys. It is so amazing to see and although it limits her and John from traveling a lot, I pray that in the near future we can all be a little closer geographically.

Elizabeth and I were thick as thieves at North Texas. I remember sitting with her looking at wedding magazines and eating ice cream dreaming of our wedding days.

She now has a two year old son and it blows my mind how much we have both grown up.

These are certainly amazing times and they only continue to get better.

God Bless

HB

It's a funny thing...

As most of you know Josh and I have been working on our doctorates in music. Over the last 3 years we both have finished all course work and recitals and comprehensive exams. You would think that all of that work was the hard stuff, but we are ever reminded of that one lingering test. The one last project that will solidify our education and cap off the last 10 or 15 years of college study....the thesis. What many don't know going into a doctorate degree is the cost once you are "all done" with coursework. The university that both Josh and I attended, like many other universities, charges a fee per semester once you are considered ABD (All But Dissertation). What we and others are not prepared for is how much that fee costs when you are just starting out in the work force.

Don't get me wrong, I relish the fact that I invested in my college education and I do plan to pay off these student loans, but it is a burden of which I have had since 1994. I know that God has this handled and I know that somehow both Josh and I will be able to pay the registration fees that we incur every semester until we are done with our theses. It is a daily struggle sometimes to get up in the morning with this looming.

Some would say "Just do it" or "Just get it done" like it's easy to sit and write about something that is a requirement. In fact, this is THE hardest thing I have ever had to put my mind to and the more I work on it the more I feel overwhelmed, but I will press on. One thing I am learning the more I face this fear of writing is that God has never left and he never will. I will finish and so will Josh and someday soon I will be signing this blog as Dr. Bynum.

God Bless

HB

New Job and other exciting news

So today was my first day at my new job and I have to say that as stressed out as I was it actually went pretty well. I am working for the alumni office while the director is on maternity leave. She is pregnant with twins and is due any day now. Josh and I are excited that we get to see our friends this month. One of my good friends (Elizabeth) and her husband (Dave) are coming at the end of June to Hot Springs to celebrate their 4 year anniversary. At the beginning of July our other good friends Adrienne and her boyfriend(Brian) are coming to visit. It is going to be a great time with both couples. Some other exciting news is that my dad got a job in Ohio and he and Connie plan to move back as soon as the house sells. ....also Josh celebrates the big 30 on Sunday June 10 and he has absolutely no idea what I got him. I think he'll really like it!! Anyway... that is all for now. God Bless HB

Last Day

So today is my last day of work at the library here at OBU. I've gotten a summer job at the Alumni Office next door and although I am sad to leave the library I am hopeful that I will do well filling in at the alumni office. My two co-workers and I are going to lunch today to have one last meal together. It really isn't that big of a deal that I am leaving because I will only be a few steps away, but none the less I am still sad. Who knows... maybe I will be back in the fall if they should need an extra hand. More to come... God Bless HB

My first blog entry

So here it goes...

I was never really into putting myself "out there" because I never was interested in people other than family and friends knowing anything about me. What got me interested in doing a blog was reading my sister's entry about Mr. Petscher (jandjleavell.blogspot.com). What many don't know is that we grew up next to Mr. Petscher and he became a very important person in our lives. We became to know him as Grandpa Petscher and he was part of the family. Anyway, that is a little of what got me interested in putting up my own blog.

My husband and I are happily married and will celebrate our third anniversary this July.

We met in graduate school at the University of Iowa and we are both music instructors at Ouachita Baptist University in Arkansas.

Hopefully I will keep up with this and post more info. and pics.

God Bless.