Is it raining in your life?

Very often people say that rain brings them down, or makes them depressed. Given the circumstances over in Oklahoma and Texas I can see why. But what about another type of rain, the kind we need as Christians. The kind that only God can provide and not just in our time of need, but at times that we don't even know we need it.

Sometimes we need that rain to cleanse us, if you will. We need it to clean our souls. What I speak of is a spiritual rain. Lately I have been very thirsty for God and didn't even recognize it until I read something on Green Street Letters that got me thinking. Spiritually I have been going through a drought. I don't know why or when, but I lost sight of God somewhere and even though I've been acting like everything is fine on the outside - on the inside I've been thirsting for guidance from God.

......I don't mean to talk as if I am the only person who has ever or will ever go through something like this, I am merely relaying something deep within my heart that others may relate to.

I realized that what I have been craving in life isn't a better job, or a finished thesis, or more money in the bank, or anything material or physical.......it's just God time. Everyone needs to have that time where God is the central focus in one's mind, where nothing interferes with HIM!

I confess that I haven't been giving God that time and regardless He has still been there for me.

How fair is that!!!??

It is in these times of spiritual drought where I seem to find God the most. His rain has cleansed my soul. What I pray for myself and everyone is that God will rain on you today and that you will no longer be thirsty.....but that you will begin anew, with new life and vigor for God.

So thank you to God and Mr. B. for helping me see what I have been thirsting for!!

God Bless,

HB

Commitment

Do you ever find yourself able to commit to some things and not others? It's weird how some things in life are easy to commit to. For example; it was easy to commit to my husband, college, family, but other things, the most mundane of things can be the hardest to do.

All of this is leading up to, of course, the daily task of writing my thesis. I feel like I'm always thinking about writing, and I find myself worrying about it everyday, but I have a very hard time just sitting down and committing to it. What I have found out about myself is that I would rather be doing anything than writing a paper. In fact I would rather get groceries, take out the trash, clean the bathroom, do laundry, balance the checkbook, go to the dentist.... you get the idea.

What I have been praying for is that God will change my heart toward this very important task.

I know what has to be done and I can see a time in the very near future when I will be finished, but right now is where I am living and I must commit to the task.

All of this rambling has brought me to this point... without commitment one can not accomplish the job, whatever it may be, to the best and utmost of their ability. It is hard work and we shouldn't fear it but embrace it and continue, no matter how slowly.

So, I continue to pray that God will work on my heart and take the fear away and help me to commit to this project. I know that through Him, I can accomplish anything and after all, this paper is really for Him not me. I need it for my degree, but He needs it as a show of my love and commitment for Him!

God Bless

HB

Happy Father's Day... a little late

Happy Father's Day to all of the dads out there. My dad, John, Michael B., Chad B., and Dave A. and Denver K.; you are all amazing men who work hard for your families and love them even more. You are all so significant to your children and your wives. You sit quietly in your easy chair and never complain when you are forced to watch Oprah or The Backyardigans and always make sure to lock the doors at night. You help in the kitchen and don't mind doing the yard work. But it is your continuous spirit of love and hope and your devotion to God that is the center of the family. Being a dad means being the rock and you all deserve to be recognized on this day. So to all you dads listed above, we love you and appreciate you everyday! May God bless your journey! HB

Getting Older...

Well it is just a few days away from my ..ugh..32 birthday. I guess I feel like I am wiser and more accomplished than I was 10 years ago. I thought turning 30 was difficult, but I am quickly realizing that with each new birthday I feel more and more sentimental about the past. It's not that I want to relive anything I just feel the need to take it all in and let it sink in that I am no longer a 20 something student whose major responsibility is going to classes. It is quite a reality check because it means that I am what I always wanted to be....an adult. It is amazing the twists and turns that one's life takes. It wasn't that long ago that I was praying for God to either bring a strong Christian man into my life or help me to accept that I may never marry. Now, I am happily married to the most wonderful man and after almost three years together we still get giddy around each other. God is amazing and He really has shown me that He is in control. There were times when I would wonder "Who's running this show?" I don't wonder that any longer. Good Things and God Bless, HB

Great movie

Josh and I rented the movie (Apocalypto) the other night and I must say that it is (next to Lord of the Rings) one of the best movies I have ever seen. It is very violent, but the acting, cinematography, and costumes made you feel as if you were in the action. It is not a family film that little ones should watch. It is, however, a great movie to lose yourself in, which for me is the only reason to watch movies. Ebert, Roper and Bynum give it two thumbs up.

God Bless,

HB

Moving on -

Well, considering that this is our blog and only Heather has posted, I decided it was time to make an entry. I don't expect to write my deepest thoughts down here (I keep a journal for that). Instead, I plan to just write about random topics. Here's a taste of nostalgia: I turn 30 on Sunday. Bye-bye 20's. You hear all the time about how fast life moves, and don't give it much thought until you reach a milestone like this. I really can't believe it's been more than 10 years since I started college. It really seems like yesterday. I remember feeling very isolated and excited during my first semester at Jacksonville State. I was very aware of the fact that this was a fresh start...hardly anyone knew who I was or what I was about. For the most part, I acted like you would in a new house, car, or while meeting your future in-laws for the first time. I moved on eggshells afraid that if I relaxed, I would break something. I wanted the fresh start, but b/c I enjoyed high school - I felt the urge to hang on to the familiar (I know this is not unique to my experience). Gradually I made what I now consider to be the best friends of my life. I also adapted and thrived in the college environment (so much so that I am technically still in school today). However, the difference now is that I am very used to the concept of moving on. I moved on to Philadelphia, then to Iowa, then from working on my DMA to being a band director (shudder), and now to teaching at a rather obscure (but wonderful) university in Arkansas. While I truly believe that Heather and I aren't done "moving on" I must confess that I am getting ready to stop for a while. The problem with moving on is that you don't have time to put down roots. You feel as if you are in a perpetual transition. Friends? Well, you hold on for dear life to the ones you already have. Church family? It is very easy to quit "putting yourself out there" b/c you know you will be gone in 6 months to a year. However, I have discovered the real downfall to be the fact that in the time spent worrying about "moving on" you forget to live your life. It's ok to have dreams and ambitions. But as my man Casey Kasem says "Keep your feet on the ground while you keep reaching for the stars." OK - I confess...this entire post was a sham in order to quote Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. It's very interesting, for all of the transition in my life I've never been overly worried. Things just seem to work themselves out. The best description I can give you is that for the better part of my life I have felt as if I were just going with the current from one place to the next - the path already laid out. My constant in this life has been and continues to be Christ. He sustains me and keeps me going in the right direction. I've also been abundantly blessed with a wonderful wife who is with me every step of the way, a family life that is full of laughter and love, and a close circle of friends in whom I can completely trust and be myself around. In other words: bring on the next 30 b/c it's been great so far. Like I said....no deep thoughts here, just random topics. Future topics will most likely include: childhood heroes; movies; and songs of special importance. That will be a good start. Until next time.... Josh

Nice Day

Today is a great day because I am having lunch with some friends and I only have to work a half day. Josh and I rented Apocalypto and we are going to watch it tonight. I am so excited to see it. I have heard some wonderful things about it.

Today is also the 4th wedding anniversary of my friends Elizabeth and Dave. Last weekend was my sister and John's 6th anniversary. Time flies by when you're having fun.

I am so happy to see these two happy couples and how much their families have expanded over the years.

Growing up with my sister we would talk about marriage and family, but you are never actually prepared when it comes. Sometimes I have to remind myself that she is the mother of two boys. It is so amazing to see and although it limits her and John from traveling a lot, I pray that in the near future we can all be a little closer geographically.

Elizabeth and I were thick as thieves at North Texas. I remember sitting with her looking at wedding magazines and eating ice cream dreaming of our wedding days.

She now has a two year old son and it blows my mind how much we have both grown up.

These are certainly amazing times and they only continue to get better.

God Bless

HB

It's a funny thing...

As most of you know Josh and I have been working on our doctorates in music. Over the last 3 years we both have finished all course work and recitals and comprehensive exams. You would think that all of that work was the hard stuff, but we are ever reminded of that one lingering test. The one last project that will solidify our education and cap off the last 10 or 15 years of college study....the thesis. What many don't know going into a doctorate degree is the cost once you are "all done" with coursework. The university that both Josh and I attended, like many other universities, charges a fee per semester once you are considered ABD (All But Dissertation). What we and others are not prepared for is how much that fee costs when you are just starting out in the work force.

Don't get me wrong, I relish the fact that I invested in my college education and I do plan to pay off these student loans, but it is a burden of which I have had since 1994. I know that God has this handled and I know that somehow both Josh and I will be able to pay the registration fees that we incur every semester until we are done with our theses. It is a daily struggle sometimes to get up in the morning with this looming.

Some would say "Just do it" or "Just get it done" like it's easy to sit and write about something that is a requirement. In fact, this is THE hardest thing I have ever had to put my mind to and the more I work on it the more I feel overwhelmed, but I will press on. One thing I am learning the more I face this fear of writing is that God has never left and he never will. I will finish and so will Josh and someday soon I will be signing this blog as Dr. Bynum.

God Bless

HB

New Job and other exciting news

So today was my first day at my new job and I have to say that as stressed out as I was it actually went pretty well. I am working for the alumni office while the director is on maternity leave. She is pregnant with twins and is due any day now. Josh and I are excited that we get to see our friends this month. One of my good friends (Elizabeth) and her husband (Dave) are coming at the end of June to Hot Springs to celebrate their 4 year anniversary. At the beginning of July our other good friends Adrienne and her boyfriend(Brian) are coming to visit. It is going to be a great time with both couples. Some other exciting news is that my dad got a job in Ohio and he and Connie plan to move back as soon as the house sells. ....also Josh celebrates the big 30 on Sunday June 10 and he has absolutely no idea what I got him. I think he'll really like it!! Anyway... that is all for now. God Bless HB