Once a Girl Scout always a Girl Scout

I joined the Brownies when I was very little and went on to be a Girl Scout.  Some of my best memories are from trips we took and the things I learned.  I made it all the way to Cadette before I quit right before high school.  Now that I look back on that time in my life I see the true purpose and maybe one day I can lead a young group of women to discover those same lessons.

The Girl Scout Promise

On my honor, I will try:
To serve God and my country,
To help people at all times,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law.

The Girl Scout Law

 
I will do my best to be
honest and fair,
friendly and helpful,
considerate and caring,
courageous and strong, and
responsible for what I say and do,
and to
respect myself and others,
respect authority,
use resources wisely,
make the world a better place, and
be a sister to every Girl Scout

HB

See the light ahead of me

I stand in the darkness of this path I have been following.
Now I see the light skimming the surface and this is the way I want to go.
I know this is the way God wants me to turn.  Hopefully I won't disappoint Him.
Now that I see this light can I stick to it or will I fail again?
If I fail another time I know that God will guide me out of this fog.
He is always waiting and I will don't want to stay stuck here any longer.
I know I'm gonna fall down, but He won't let me drown.

If all I worry about is failing I cannot see that light ahead because I'm not focusing on what the real path is.
Now I need to turn to Him and follow Him. No worries. Just faith.

HB

Love Letter

When I was younger I wished for one of my favorite movie stars to come to my house and want to marry me and live happily ever after.  Then when I got older and I was allowed to date I wished for a man who would accept me for who I am.  Someone who would look at me when I wasn't watching and see me as the deep thinking, mysterious woman I always thought I was.  I once had someone tell me "you know Heather, it's not like you're a deep person." It was one of the most insulting things I'd ever heard about myself and considering that person did not know me at all.

When I met Josh I knew that he was a man that saw me for who God made and he accepted me for everything I was and everything I wasn't.  I married him and it was the best decision I have ever made next to accepting Christ as my savior. He thinks that his compliments are ignored and that I don't always hear him when he tries to console me, but I hear every word.  It's those sweet messages that I remember when I'm alone and feeling down.  I also think of those things when I'm feeling happy.

So I want to tell you Josh that I love you.  You are everything that God wanted for me and everything that I prayed for in a husband, person, partner and friend.  We walk this journey hand in hand and I couldn't ask for anyone I'd rather have beside me.

Love you baby!!

HB

New Home... New Beginning

So it's official, Josh and I bought a house.  It's actually new construction and we are building our house here in Athens.  We are so excited about it.  It's been a long time and a lot of hard work to get here.

I will be posting construction photos after they begin to lay the foundation.  Hopefully we will close in February and move in. 

HB

Octoberfest

So Josh and I are trying to buy our first house. We'll keep you posted as to what happens and if we get the house we've been wanting.  This time of year is always such a great time.  The weather is finally cooling off and it's time to enjoy the turn of the leaves.  It's always fun to get a pumpkin and carve the jack-o-lantern. 

This may be a turning point in your life as it is ours. Our lives could change significantly with the purchase of our first home.  A lot has happened in the past few weeks already for our family.  We recently lost to Great Uncles just weeks apart.  I was not able to attend the services but I remember these two men with great fondness and love.  I only wish that I could have seen them to say goodbye or just catch up on old times.  I'm grateful for the time that I was able to spend with them when I was younger. 

Anyway, for the two people that follow this blog  :), that's what's going on here.  Check back soon!

God Bless,

HB

With so much going on how do we keep our faith?

Taxes go up.  Job growth goes down.  The need for health care goes up.  How do we focus on the positive and be faithful in these times while still learning to navigate these scary waters?

I am humbled by one line of scripture.  It is in a constant loop in my head all day long, "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth" Psalm 46:10.

It's not necessarily about making oneself feel better, it's about truly embracing that God is bigger than everything we see and touch on a daily basis.  Be faithful in your work and with your loved ones and friends.  Lean not on your own understanding, but on God.  He will ultimately guide your path if you let Him.  I find that sometime just giving over that control (that mental worry that we often confuse as control) is what God needs from us.  Let Him speak to you without questioning it and you will see that path laid out before you.  It may not be the path that is neat and clean.  It may be the path less traveled, but it is where He needs you to be.  Know also that your friends and family are praying for you and lifting you up everyday.  Be still and listen this day.

God Bless,
HB

To steal is to break more than the law...

Last week Josh went to a conference in the D.C. area.  He stayed at the same hotel he always stays and attended the daily events.  He was invited to perform this year and the piece he chose to do was one that required him to bring out laptop computer.  He performed on Wed. and brought the computer back to the room at the end of the day.  He left on Thursday to attend another day of events and this time he could relax and just enjoy the exhibits.  He left the laptop in its bag in the hotel room (a locked hotel room.)

He was gone all day and when he returned late that night he discovered the laptop was gone.  He did what any one of us would do and he immediately went down to the front desk to report this.  He was not offered much help by any of the hotel staff or the police.  We realize that it is just a material item and I am certainly glad that nothing happened to him.  The room was not broken into...the computer was taken by someone who had access to that room. 

These kinds of events that happen to us remind us of what is most important.  Obviously if we travel again with any type of equipment, musical instrument, jewelry, what have you, we will take precautions.  But sometimes you can't prevent everything.  The person or persons responsible have no doubt done this before.  It is really a testament to the fact that basic trust is gone in most cases.  Not only that, but even basic human courtesy of helping the guests of your hotel have gone by the wayside.

We are over the shock of this now and have moved on to praying for those responsible.  Although we are still angered when we think about it.  Needless to say, Josh will never stay at this particular hotel ever again and he has warned all of his friends and colleagues about this as well.

Whenever your privacy is invaded and something of value is taken you have to shake yourself free of the "why" and think more about the "ok, what do I need to do to take care of this".  It becomes more about recovery and moving forward and trying to let go of the bitterness.

God Bless,

HB

All moved in

Well... Josh and I are all moved in at our new place.  At first I wasn't a fan of how small the apartment felt, but now that everything is put away and the boxes are gone, it is beginning to feel like home.

I am still looking for a job, but I do have a few leads on some possible private lesson teaching.
Josh keeps telling me that God just wants me to be patient.  I have never not worked and it feels very strange, almost like I'm in middle school and on summer vacation, but with more responsibility.

I don't like not working and I remember when I was younger how my mom would say that she couldn't stand not working either.  After my sister and I were old enough to be in school she went right back to work and I really respect her for that.  It's not easy to be a mom and work, but somehow she did it.

We are keeping everyone in our prayers, as it seems that lots of people are in tough financial or career changing spots.  This economy has affected everyone I know and it has not been in a good way.  I know that when we are faithful and rely on God for His provisions that all will be ok.  I have never asked to be rich.  I have only wanted to be able to pay back my debt and be able to pay the bills and have food and clothing.  God has always provided and I know that He will provide for our loved ones also.

Keep living, keep praying and take stock in the small things in your daily life.

God Bless,

HB

Closing this chapter and beginning new one

In a few days Josh and I will be leaving the beautiful state of Arkansas for Georgia.  It has been a wonderful journey here filled with meeting new people and teaching some great students.  We have really enjoyed our time here and the last four years have flown by.  I hope that our move to GA will be blessed with new opportunities in music and that we will make some fast friends. 

It is also a blessing that we will be closer to family.  I can't wait to be able to see them more often than once or twice a year.  I think that family and friends are the most important people in our lives and the farther you live from them sometimes the harder it is to keep up.  It's been hard watching our niece and nephews grow up from this distance.  Every time we see them it seems they have learned a thousand new things and we've missed about 900 of them. 

My prayer is that from us being in GA our families will be able to see us and stay with us more often and that Josh and I can begin to plan the rest of our lives together.  Hopefully a house and maybe a baby or two will be in our future, but first I have to find a job. :)

Thanks for you prayers and I will post some pics of the new place once we are moved in!

God Bless,

HB

All you have to decide

It's been said that in life one should have no regrets.  Life is a journey of triumphs, and failures, and somewher in between.  One thing life has taught me, or should I say, God has taught me in this life - is that it doesn't matter what mistakes we made in the past and it doesn't matter what mistakes we may make in the future, all that we have to decide is what to do with the time we are given.

There is no greater purpose than what we are doing now - as spouses, parents, men and women, sister or brother, son or daughter.  We must continue to live our lives choosing the path that, in most cases, can be the most trying and difficult.  The lessons we are taught along the way help shape the decisions we make in our future. 

When we do look back it shouldn't be to punish ourselves or feel that regret, but to see the all that we have accomplished and how far we've come in this journey.  Don't allow yourself to sit and stew over things you can no longer control because you probably never had control in the first place.

Lay it down and move on!

God Bless,

HB

Make it throught the day.....

Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm: for love is as strong as death...Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it...

Things I've observed

First of all we had a great weekend with Michael and Vicki during their visit. We can't wait until we will be just a 3 hour ride away instead of 8. I wish I had pictures but we didn't take any. Not that we didn't to, we just didn't think about it.

The year is winding down and I begun to notice some things from the different places I go day to day. First of all I have noticed that when I'm driving on a three-lane interstate or highway people would rather pass me in the left lane than get over in the right lane. What's that about?

I think people are just too lazy to move over to the other side. I make a bet with myself every time someone is going to pass as to whether it will be on the left or right and 90% of the time it is on the left side. I don't think this is indigenous to Arkansas.

Is it too much to ask to make a camera that will automatically edit and slim you down when you take a photo. I hate that the way I look in the mirror and the way I look in photos is so different. I look like a small whale in a photo whereas if I look in the mirror I may not be a thin as I once was, but I don't look like I just ate Bambi either.

Today Josh and I started our morning workout routine. We have made a decision to do it together and make exercise a regular part of our life. This is always the hardest step for both of us, because it's too easy to hit the snooze button. :)

My hope and prayer is that God continues to give us the strength to push through our temptations and get healthy!

Thank you for all the prayers and good wishes. We are excited to be moving to Georgia. Please continue to pray about a job for me. Also, please keep my family in your prayers!

God Bless,

HB

Yes it has been a while

So a lot has been going on since I last posted something. I graduated with my doctorate (finally) and Josh and I were able to walk together. Josh gave a wonderful solo recital at the beginning of the semester and I am in the process of getting ready to do my own in March.

We are hopeful that the Lord will bless us with new opportunities whether it be here or at a new school and new area. No one really knows what the future holds but if you keep your eye on God then all will always be alright.

Sometimes it feels like our lives revolve around money and it takes being very strong and grounded to not let it get you down or run your life. Afterall God blesses us with talents and skills, but it doesn't necessarily mean we will get rich and retire by age 40. It sometimes means polishing those talents and enhancing them and doing right by God by following what He wants for us.

This is the journey I am on and what Josh and I have been working hard to accomplish.

God Bless,

HB

The only words I can find

For the last month I, as many people in this world, have been struggling to understand the death of one of our heroes, Michael Jackson. I know that in the last few years I have kept it under my hat that he is one of my biggest inspirations. I thought that if his music or he, as an artist had fallen out of popularity that I would be judged for still admiring him and loving his music. I no longer feel afraid of that judgement. Whether you were born in 1926 or 1975 you knew who Michael Jackson was. You had seen the music videos and heard the music. You knew that he didn't grant interviews as much as you would have liked and that you were always wanting to see and hear more when you did get to see him in an interview. He was very closely scrutinized for his appearance and often criticized for his actions. He took that criticism and let it roll of his chest, knowing that he knew the real truth, whether the world believed him or not. He continued to push through the controversy and make music that touched the deepest emotions and could also make you dance. Even though I am a classical musician by trade, my heart has always been in pop and R&B. The majority of that is due to Michael Jackson. I didn't really know the possibilities until I saw him perform. Like many of us who admire and strive to be like our heroes, I wish I could have met him just once to let him know how thankful I am for his talent and the influence he had on me, and still has today. His death reminded me of what we will be missing; of how wonderful it was to witness his rise to fame and see the growth of his work. It goes without saying that he will be missed; that generations will never know the work ethic and creative genius behind those moves, that voice and those videos. I may not understand death but I do know that God always has a reason. Only God could give someone that much talent and the grace to withstand so many years of adulation and critique. I thank God that He brought Michael Jackson into my life through music and I thank Michael Jackson for using the talent he was given to give back. These are the only words I can find. God Bless, HB

I am always inspired

I am always inspired by those around me. I know that when people first meet me they may see me as stand-offish or even a bit cold, but what I am really doing is learning and listening. I have always been a shy person until I get to know someone well enough to really be myself. Sometimes I feel this holds me back in my professional life, but I eventually break through. What I am most inspired by is the way people interact, the way they speak to one another and the way they create....be it a meal, music, movies, photographs, finger painting with their kids or just holding a conversation. I find as I have gotten older that conversation often turns to politics and the "now" of the world or it is about the past and what you were doing back when you were younger. I have a hard time keeping up with all of the "now" of this world, especially in the world of politics. I often get sad when I think back on the past because those are times I hold so dear to me that I would love to go back a relive them...not to change anything, but just to experience those things again. What I am most inspired by are those who live their life by giving to others whether it be music, ministry, poetry, movies, being a wife or husband, being a parent or taking care of a parent. Relationships are the most important and without those relationships we wither away. I find that I can accomplish everything I want to both personally and professionally but still have an emptiness because I have not continued to cultivate relationships. It's almost as if you become a dusty book that no one reads anymore. It is important to dust yourself off and continue cultivating those relationships. Inspiration is never far behind! God Bless, HB

What happens now

Have you ever found yourself out of school and working, but not necessarily in the field of the degree you studied? What happens to all those people who study hard in college, earn a degree and then can't find a job in their field. Or maybe they do find a job opening in their field, but they didn't stand out enough in the interview and therefore did not get the job.

I have worked my whole adult life toward a job teaching music at the collegiate level. I have always wanted to be one of the top performers and teachers in my field. I know that by most standards I am still young and this opportunity will, most likely, come. It will not be easy, but it will be rewarding.

I've often thought about what would have been had I chosen another field of study. I would probably own a house and have children, but would I be completely happy? Is being happy really what it is all about? I don't know anymore.

What I do know is that the longer I sit here in a library processing materials and spending more time away from practicing, the more I lose a piece of myself. When I chose music as my field I never thought about money or bills because I knew that God was calling me to music. I knew and trusted that He would provide because I was doing what He wanted me to do. I just never thought that I would still be paying my dues before "my big break". I must confess that sometimes I begin to doubt whether I am talented enough or driven enough to achieve this dream or purpose. I know that the Lord has provided for me thus far and He is not about to drop me, but I also know that somewhere out there are 1000 young students with the same dreams and aspirations I had when I was their age and the only difference between us is our age.

Sometime it is tough to accept reality. I'm not giving in by any means, but I must find the strength to keep pushing myself to the limit and strive for excellence in all that I do in my practicing and teaching. It gets exhausting and I know that everyone feels this way sooner or later. I guess somewhere I just lost sight of what God really wants for me. I will continue to do my 9-5 job with a happy heart, and work hard to earn the job that I know I am really meant to do.

God Bless

HB

Much needed prayer

I was going to write about myself and what is going on in my own life, but given the many tragedies this nation and other nations have endured in the last few days I cannot justify just sitting here writing about myself. We are a world in need of prayer. I don't know anything more than what I have heard in the news and read online, but I do know that in the midst of this terror and heartbreak there stands a loving and just God who is waiting for us to take His hand. I pray for the salvation of those who have done or will commit a crime like the many we have heard about lately. It is beyond our comprehension as humans to understand how someone can be so hurt or down that they feel a need to take someone else's life. My prayer goes out to these people that God has mercy on them and can bring a sense of peace to them and their families. What this has taught me is that when we feel the least connection to anything right or peaceful or loving...God is right there. He will always be there for us and He WANTS us to go to him in these difficult times and in the easy times. Trust in the Lord and you will never go wrong. Please be in prayer for your loved ones and friends that anyone who is unsaved or even saved but struggling. Please pray for them and know that someone is also praying for you. God Bless, HB

Progress

One week has passed since I last posted about me trying valiantly to get healthy. Progress is being made slowly. I went to the gym 3 times last week and I will go again 3 times this week. I hold out hope that as the semester progresses I will succeed in my goal. Speaking of Goals, remember back when you were a child and you were asked to right down what you wanted to be when you grew up. I think I probably wrote about wanting to be a teacher, which is exactly what I am doing. I remember thinking longingly about the future and what it would be like to buy my first house and settle down in a good neighborhood where I could cultivate new friends. Sometimes it's painful to remember those simpler times. In the current financial state of our nation I'm sure I'm not the only one going through rough times. It is easy to get down and be overwhelmed by the worry. It can really be defeating, but then I remember that God has it all in His hands. He knows exactly how much money we need to pay bills and live every month and He protects us from ourselves. So never give up hope that you can accomplish the goal you set out for yourself. More important is to remember that we are instruments of God and it is His plan and His goal for our lives that we must live up to. God Bless, HB

New Year and New Wishes

So another year has begun and a new start is in front of us. I have started this new year with one resolution to myself....to take care of my body and in doing so, I will lose a little of the pounds I put on in the last few months. I know that everyone seems to make the same promise to themselves and I certainly have in the past. This time I feel differently about it. I don't care about the number on the scale or what size pants I fit into. What I care about most is that I feel healthy and alive and awake in my own life. I have felt that feeling of being awake slowly slip away in the last few years. It's just something that has happened slowly, especially since we moved here. It began as just a nice weekend thing; wake up and make coffee and watch TV all day. I love television and I think it can be a nice way to just relax and turn your brain off, but when you are doing it for hours everyday there is a part of you that forgets how to relate to the people in your life. I'm not saying that everyone goes through this, but what I have noticed is that sometimes when you just take back 30 minutes of your day to just be silent or read a magazine or book, or do anything that doesn't include being entertained by someone else, it can be the best part of your day. For me that time will be spent on the elliptical machine at the gym where I can focus for 30 minutes on how tough it is to be on the elliptical for 30 min. :) I will try to keep regular updates about my progress. I can say one thing; God has really helped my arthritis. My hip is much better now and He has given me an opening to where I can take back my body from this disease and make a change for the better that will effect me later on when I am older. By the way, the holidays were great! Josh and I got to spend a lot of time with our families and it was wonderful. There is nothing like going home again after a long time away. So to everyone; thank you and we will miss you! God Bless, HB

Coming Home Soon

This is a picture is from last Christmas when Josh and I were home in Ohio visiting my mom and sister. You can barely see little Gabriel in the background in his highchair.

In only a few more weeks we will be on the road again on our way to celebrate the holidays with both families. It is always such a great time for reflecting on the past year and catching up on old times.

This time is always fantastic and I wish we could do it more often.

Until then I will be praying for all of you and I can't wait to hug you when I see you.

God Bless,

HB